Ugly and gay

Being gay is already hard enough. PS- While we’re sharing advice based on our lived experiences as out gay men and as a couple in India, we strongly recommend speaking with a mental health expert for professional support. I love being gay, but it sucks being an ugly gay guy.

I went through a phase where I did claim it. Meanwhile I've had almost none of that. It resonated deeply, but I still didn't know if I should claim it. By continuing to use our site, you agree to our Privacy Policy and Terms of Use. I grew up in a religious Christian household.

I even put socks in my underwear to feel what having a bulge would be like. I wasn't exposed to queerness, except maybe a scene from The Color Purple where Celie and Shug kissed — and even then, my mom would skip that part, though I'd already seen it once on my own.

After high school, I considered that maybe I was bi. I wasn't ready to call myself a lesbian yet. But even then, labels never felt right.

UGLY AND GAY THIRST :

I've read so many posts from attractive gay guys about all the fun experiences they've had with other guys. The photos that are used in gay apps like Grindr, Scruff, Tindr, and others.

I wrote a whole explanation on my Instagram Close Friends story, breaking down my pronouns and why I identified as non-binary. I resonate with both non-binary and gender fluid, but I don't wear either one loudly. A couple of years later, I learned about the term non-binary, and that hit, too.

I genuinely liked them and caught feelings for them. Very telling. I remember being a curious kid, looking up "girls kissing girls" on YouTube for reasons I couldn't explain at the time. That might've been my only exposure, and even that wasn't intentional. That helped me get more comfortable with who I was.

But being ugly and gay is just isolating and frustrating, especially since the gay pool is already pretty small. Eventually, I joined a lesbian iMessage group chat. I had my first crush at the age of five; in 8th grade, I had my first girlfriend.

But I was still convinced I was straight. I even explored a bit myself, kissing a couple of girls while playing house, and I was always the boyfriend. Still, from then through junior year, I hid behind fake profiles to talk to girls online. It was after someone in a chat asked me if I was a boy or a girl, and I answered, "Both.

When You Know You’re Ugly: A Gay Man’s Guide to Coping with Physical Unattractiveness Facing the Reality of Physical Attractiveness As gay men, we are seemingly inundated with ideas, images, and pressures about appearance.

I started leaning into the lesbian label more. I could accept "bi" easier because of my religious trauma and internalized homophobia. That's when a friend introduced me to the term gender fluid.